Smile at the world, just smile.

Ever feel just entirely drained? Well as a student at a competitive university I definitely do.  I am a bit older than most people at my Universty, and a transfer student so it is a little hard to make friends. For myself, this was shocking. I am an extremely social butterfly. What I have noticed is a lot of other people are not social, not interested in meeting new people, or exceptionally friendly. Now as someone studying psychology, I can understand some of the basic reasons for these social experiences. In our society, most people, tend to want to avoid social interactions with people they don’t know for a variety of reasons. Mostly it is because they are preoccupied with what they have to do, school work, etc. Although, something I have noticed is that people are very uncomfortable with eye contact with a stranger, let alone smiling at one. I have smiled randomly at passersby several times and a lot of the times they stare blankly or look away. I wonder why? In times of so much discomfort, instability, and insecurity why would an act of kindness add to one’s discomfort?

Now as someone studying psychology, I can understand some of the basic reasons for these social experiences. In our society, most people, tend to want to avoid social interactions with people they don’t know for a variety of reasons. Mostly it is because they are preoccupied with what they have to do, school work, etc. Although, something I have noticed is that people are very uncomfortable with eye contact with a stranger, let alone smiling at one. I have smiled randomly at passersby several times and a lot of the times they stare blankly or look away. I wonder why? In times of so much discomfort, instability, and insecurity why would an act of kindness add to one’s discomfort?

In our society, most people, tend to want to avoid social interactions with people they don’t know for a variety of reasons. Mostly it is because they are preoccupied with what they have to do, school work, etc. Although, something I have noticed is that people are very uncomfortable with eye contact with a stranger, let alone smiling at one. I have smiled randomly at passersby several times and a lot of times they stare blankly or look away. I wonder why? In times of so much discomfort, instability, and insecurity why would an act of kindness add to one’s discomfort

As someone who has suffered from depression and still struggles day to day, any act of genuine kindness towards me is something I not only appreciate but am grateful for. So, almost anytime I make eye contact with a stranger, I  make it a point to smile back. Sometimes I am met graciously with a reciprocatory smile. I don’t know about anyone else out there who has this same feeling, but I try to envision a world that was continuously met with welcoming smiles. What kind of a world would that be? Perhaps one that is not so lonely? Or one that is at least optimistic and friendly. To explore this phenomenon of social discomfort I will continue to smile at everyone I make eye contact with, regardless of their response. I hope anyone reading this will too. As the saying goes, “Everyone you have ever met is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always.”

This is where I add in my little anime anecdotes. If you have ever watched my hero academia or Boko no Hero than you might be familiar with All Might the hero who is the universal Symbol for peace. When asked by his young admirer how he can smile so much in the face of danger he replies “I will save people with a smile, the symbol of peace cannot be daunted by evil. I smile to show the pressure of heroes and to trick the fear inside of me.” Whether or not you are into anime, psychology, or gratitude All Might has a point. It is in each and every one of us to make a difference, or even the slightest Continue reading “Smile at the world, just smile.”

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First Blog Post: 3 Blessings

Positive Pospsycholog Intervention: “3 blessings”

The idea is, every day before you go to bed, write down three things you were grateful for that day. They could be anything like getting a new car or eating pizza, but you also have to think of why that occurrence was particularly pleasant to you.

I did this as an assignment for my Positive psychology class, although it was something I had already heard of. Results usually show that doing this for even one week can have positive effects, lasting up to 6 months.

By counting your blessings each day, big, or small, you realize you are blessed. Everyone will differ in what they are grateful for, but to be honest most of the time for me it was a good nights sleep. As a student, I don’t really get much of it.

Then something terrible happened my first pet died. The love of my life, he was everything to me. He died about 2 weeks into this assignment. As heartbroken as I was, and still am over losing him., I truly believe that counting my blessings each day REALLY did work.

Here is a small excerpt from my three blessings experience:

  1. I am grateful for my new living situation and new roommates 
  2. I am grateful for the privilege to ride my bike again on the beautiful campus of UCSB 
  3. I am grateful I got a good nights sleep last night     

8/10

  1. I am grateful to be alive 
  2. I am grateful for my stepmother who has raised me as her own child 
  3. I am grateful for my boyfriend whom I love, and who has stood by me through the ups and the downs 

8/11

  1. Happy to have finished up school work getting ahead and remaining focused 
  2. Happy that my boyfriend wants to bring me with him to his music sessions and along for the ride 
  3. Thankful for every time Adam reminds me I am beautiful 

8/12

  1. Thankful to have someone I can trust to be true to me 
  2. Fortunate to see an old friend Brandon who brings me many laughs 
  3. Glad I could share a moment of gratitude and thought with Juliana while reflecting on positive psychology and the good life frame 

8/13 

  1. To have a true friend in George who I share many laughs with 
  2. To have a long lasting relationship with Erin which started in childhood who knows me intimately  
  3. Happy I am now able to eat with awareness and improve my diet to improve my health 

8/14

  1. I have a kind and helpful roommate 
  2. Grateful that my ride home was spent talking to loved ones who made time fly 
  3. Grateful to have a good nights sleep

8/15 

  1. Thankful that my dog led a long happy life and died peacefully 
  2. Grateful my teachers understand me missing class 
  3. Happy I could return home to mourn the passing of my first dog max 

8/16

  1. Grateful that my dog buttercup is alive and well 
  2. Happy to have dinner with a friend who new max his entire life 
  3. Thankful my boyfriend came to spend time with me in the morning of max 

8/17

  1. Happy to see my old best friend Shima who I miss and love 
  2. Glad to spend time with my boyfriend conversing and studying together pleasantly 
  3. Grateful to have so many friends who are concerned for me and want to show me love and support for the passing of my dog Glad that I took my exam and feel I did pretty well despite my lack of sleep 
  1. Realized that sleep is the most important factor to my health and I am gonna do everything I can to fix this and lead a healthier lifestyle 

8/24

  1. Happy to wake up next to the love of my life and how he is always there to lend me comforting words 
  2. Spent most of the day with my new puppy Wesley whom I love more and more each day! 
  3. Grateful I get to be home in a healthy environment studying with my boyfriend and eating right! 
  1. Got a great night sleep woke up feeling refreshed! 
  2. Had a smooth fast ride to school 
  3. Made it to my test on time and I think I did really well! Because I worked hard! 

8/28

  1. Has a nice lunch with my best friend I enjoy quality time 
  2. The weather was slightly cooler which was a nice change of pace 
  3. Had a nice intellectual talk with my professor 

8/29

  1. Spent the night at my best friend’s which was a nice change of pace
  2. Got a good nights sleep despite lighter 
  3. Enjoyed a nice breakfast which was pleasant 

8/30 

  1. Had a great class in mindfulness which allowed us to practice meditation 
  2. Skated to class in beautiful weather, my ability is improving which Made me happy 
  3. Had an amazing meeting with Jeff Gaddass which resulted in a mentor relationship and an amazing job offer working in the field in residence homes, reminding me why I chose this field 

8/31

  1. Went out to a late dinner with my old friend Alfred. This was especially nice bec912
  1. Ate a nice breakfast before class which I don’t often get a chance to do.

2  went to the store and was more pleased than I thought I would be with the Halloween decorations already being displayed 3 took part in some self-care and bought my self some goodies which I rarely do 🙂 

But Don’t take my word for it…try it your self!